I'm a wimp

Half the battle in life is figuring out what our strengths and weaknesses are and not being afraid to own them.

I'm a wimp. I freely admit it. After a week on my own with the kids I cannot wait for Pat to walk through that door tomorrow morning! Single parents and stay-at-home moms everywhere have my greatest respect!

Don't get me wrong. Not for one second did I think this would be easy. And I fully recognize that many others have it much tougher than I do! For many, it's not a temporary situation. Others have 3, 4 or more children, special needs children or few resources. As a young child, Pat's dad was on the road most of the week while his mom was home with Pat and his sister (14 months younger) and NO CAR! Can you even imagine? Not me. Nor do I want to.

There are a lot of things I do very well.

Make a beautiful 4 course meal. No problem.

Get 50,000 people to a rally with 3 days notice. Done.

Plan my own wedding in 3 weeks. Easy peasy.

Manage 2 kids under 16 months by myself for a week - whoa, now you're asking too much!

I can deal with massive political campaigns and candidates and all their nonsense in the same casual way some moms can deal with getting 2 (or more) kids plus all their groceries in the cart! How do they do that???

I know this about myself. I clearly remember that I wasn't so sure at first. I didn't want to go back to work after Sydney was born. I saw other moms at home with their kids doing fun projects and crafts and taking great field trips. They seemed so fulfilled and I thought that's what I needed to be too. The first day she went to daycare I didn't even get out of the door before I started blubbering. I was a bad mom. But I quickly recognized that wasn't my calling. Giving birth changes a lot of things (A LOT - another blog post) but I'm still me. I still need a career. And it makes me a better mom.

I often say that I love my kids... enough to send them to daycare during the week! They get to spend the day with people whose passion in life is kids! And I get to love on them and truly enjoy every moment when they come home rather than count the minutes until bedtime. If life changed course and they stayed home with me full-time, I would deal with it and we would all be fine but I am thankful to have the option to work.

I'm sure I'll cry again on Monday when the both go to daycare here for the first time. Especially because it will be Fletcher's first time away. Because I'm a wimp.